Step Three: Rewrite the Novel

Posted by Dawn Ross on August 4, 2020
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

What?! After all that hard work I put in, now you want me to rewrite? WTH.

Before you get angry with me, ask yourself if you are truly ready for a stranger to read your novel and post a review. Chances are the answer is no.

You wrote the first draft of your novel in step two. If you’re the type of writer who likes to take their time making sure every sentence and every scene is perfect, you may not have to do much when rewriting your novel. The more time you spend writing the first draft of your novel, the less time you will need to spend on rewriting the novel.

Since I like to write the first draft quickly, I spend more time on the second draft. Here are some of the things I do in this second draft:

Develop the Scenes

Sometimes when we write, we’re so caught up in writing the action and dialog that we forget to flesh out the scene. When you read your rough draft, look for places where you told the story rather than showed it. Look for places where the mood of a scene can be improved. Where is it taking place? What does this place look like? What time is it? What are the characters doing? What are they wearing? How does the point of view character feel about what he or she is doing? How do they feel about where they are? How do they perceive the other characters?

There are a myriad of questions to ask when fleshing out your scenes. But don’t get too caught up in it. For one, you don’t want to make the scene too boring by adding too much detail. For another, not all scenes require a lot of description. If you’re writing a high action scene, for example, your point of view character wouldn’t take a lot of time noting what the scene and the other characters look like. And If you’re character wouldn’t do it, neither should you.

Make Story Changes

A story doesn’t always come out right the first time you write it. Does a scene contribute to the plot? Is something missing? Is something not working? Is it too long or too short? Is the transition from one scene to the next too jarring? Are the events in the proper order? Does the plot make sense? Is everything too easy for your character?

Add scenes – Sometimes you find you need to add characters, events, or other elements. Perhaps after you wrote your story, you realize how cool it would be to add a sub-plot. Or maybe you realize you need another character to help push your main character along or complicate things for him.

Delete scenes – Don’t be afraid to remove what doesn’t work. You might love a particular scene, but it doesn’t contribute to the plot. Or maybe you realize one scene is too much like another scene, and one of them needs to go. If you hate the idea of deleting, copy and paste it into a new document and save it.

Switch scenes around – Maybe you realize your protagonist needs to meet your antagonist earlier in the story. Or maybe your character faces the hardest part of their journey too early. Your character’s journey should get increasingly difficult. Sure, he can solve a problem and be in his happy place somewhere in the middle of the story, but something worse needs to follow. And make sure his worst moment is near the end. A subplot might be another reason to switch scenes. Maybe the subplot concluding after the climax drags out the end of the story and needs to conclude earlier. The more subplots you have, the more you may realize scenes need to be switched.

Change scenes – Maybe you want something different to happen. Maybe instead of robbing a bank, you want your character to rob a jewelry store. Maybe your character’s friend Jan as a side character is too boring and Tabitha would be much more interesting. Maybe the stakes are too low and you need to jack things up.

Minor Editing

Don’t get too bogged down with editing. Chances are after you get feedback on your novel in step four, you may have more rewriting to do. Simply read through your story and fix the things that stand out the most.

I spend more time on my second draft than I do any other draft. I want to make sure I have all the story elements right before I let beta readers or developmental editors read it. You might be different in that your first draft took longer. Either way, it is a good idea to do a first and second draft before you let anyone read your novel.

Can you think of another reason why you might want to do a second draft of your novel before letting anyone read it? Can you think of other elements you may have to rewrite in a second draft? I’d love to hear from you.

Step Two: Write the Novel

Posted by Dawn Ross on July 22, 2020
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

There are many steps to writing and publishing a novel. The first step is the outline, which you can read about in last week’s post. This second step of actually writing the novel is by far the most enjoyable. It’s the step where your imagination gets to take flight and come alive. So sit your butt down and write! But first, here are a few things you can do to stay on track and keep motivated.

Set Writing Goals

Write up a document that establishes your goals. Start with a broad goal, such as “I will finish this novel by April 1st”. Then break the goal down into parts. Ask yourself, “When will I write?”, “Where will I write?”, “How many days a week will I write?”, and “What times will I write?”. Finally, set milestones. You can aim for words per week or day, or pages or chapters per week.

One thing about goals is to remember they are flexible. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t reach a goal. Life happens. If you don’t make a deadline, it’s not a big deal if you push back the timeline. Or if your initial plan was too ambitious, it’s okay to make a new plan that gives yourself room to breathe. Remember, you only fail if you give up.

Create Accountability

Some people are good at accountability while others need help. If you’re someone who does better when you have to answer to someone, consider these options:

  • Tell your friends and ask them to follow up with you once in a while.
  • Join NaNoWriMo.org and find writers in your community. It’s free! I love the NaNoWriMo team in my community. Every November, we prepare to write 50,000 words. We communicate online and we gather one to two times a week to check in with one another and write together.
  • Sign up for the 100 Day Book program on The Write Practice. This program gives you and other writers the challenge of writing a novel in 100 days. Every week, you have to check-in and let everyone know if you met your goals. This program costs, but you get a monetary reward at the end if you succeed.
  • Find another online group that can encourage you and gives you a sense of accountability.
  • Join a writer’s circle in your community.

Establish Rewards and Consequences

Do you think you will be better motivated by rewards? Consider your guilty pleasures—the things you don’t get very often but enjoy. Those things can be food, drinks, material things, or activities.

  • A food reward might be as simple as a candy bar to as extravagant as a dinner at your favorite restaurant.
  • Drink rewards can be one of those expensive coffee drinks from your favorite coffee shop, a deluxe smoothie or milkshake, or an expensive bottle of alcohol (like wine or Crown Royal).
  • Material things can be a new video game for your PS4, a dragon figurine to add to your collection, a new writing journal, and so on.
  • Activities can be a night at the movies, a pedicure, a massage, a day at the museum or art gallery, a day at the lake or beach, or even an out-of-town stay (like a camping trip or hotel stay in a tourist town).

Base rewards on your level of achievement. A candy bar might be rewarded for reaching 5,000 words while dinner at your favorite restaurant might be when you reach 25,000 words. The more you’re motivated by rewards, the more reward milestones you should select.

Consider the consequences of not achieving your goals. Let’s say you didn’t write as much because you spent too much time playing a video game or watching Netflix. Grounding yourself from those things are excellent consequences. If you’re not reaching your goals because of work, school, or family, do not ground yourself from those! Rather than establish a consequence for normal life things that keep you from writing, re-align your goals to be more realistic instead.

Find Inspiration

There are several ways to maintain inspiration. The number one thing I like to do is review why I want to write in the first place. I write because I want to get the story out of my head, because I like the feeling of achieving something worthwhile because I like the escape that writing offers, etc. Other inspirations can be searching for inspirational quotes from your fellow social media writers, creating a Pinterest board of images that relate to the story you’re writing, watching a movie or television show that inspired your story, and more.

Screw Perfectionism

This first draft of your novel is not supposed to be perfect. Don’t get too fixated on editing typos or grammar, or even wording. Just write and get your ideas out. My rough drafts are so rough that I talk to myself in my writing. For example, I might type:

Okay, I might have a plot issue here. I realized that I forgot all about the clue I planted back in chapter two. Review this and consider either deleting the clue-plant or implementing its reveal.

I usually put these blurbs in the document with parenthesis around them and in red-colored text so they stand out. If your writing goal is based on the number of words, it’s up to you whether you want to count these blurbs. Personally, I count them because they are still related to my story.

Writing a novel is not easy. You might see a lot of people in your writing groups who want to write a novel, but most of them don’t get beyond the first draft. So if you can finish the first draft of your novel, congratulate yourself on beating the average. What have you done to keep yourself motivated to write? Are you goal-oriented or do you need outside encouragement? Are you motivated more by rewards or consequences? Explore the many possibilities!

Step One: How to Outline Your Novel

Posted by Dawn Ross on July 14, 2020
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Plot Storyboard

There are several ways to outline a novel. Some writers already have the story in their head and don’t need to do a formal outline. Others like to create a formal plan. For those of you who map out your story before tackling the writing part, here are some ways you can do it.

It helps to start with a plot structure. There are several different plot structures to choose from.

The 3-Act Structure

Freytag’s Pyramid

The Heroe’s Journey

The Fichtean Curve

In Medias Res

7-Point Story Structure

The Plot Dot

Do your research to determine which structure is best for your story. I prefer the Plot Dot method. You can google it or read my blog post about it here – The Plot Dot

Using a plot structure doesn’t mean you can’t add subplots or deviate a little from the hard outline. Doing a basic outline using a plot structure helps you get the essential parts of your novel in order.

If you’re like me and want more detail, start with the plot structure then add chapters to each plot point. The number of chapters for each plot point can vary. You generally want to reach the inciting incident quickly, but the number of chapters leading to the final battle can be many.

I sometimes use notecards to outline my novel. I use white notecards for the main story and colored notecards for the subplots. Notecards help make it easier to switch, add, or delete scenes (but then again, so do the cut and paste options on digital documents).

A storyboard can help you visualize your novel. You can also find storyboard worksheets online. These worksheets can help you establish the setting and characters for each scene, as well as the events that take place.

There are also some great online writing tools and apps that can help you outline your novel. I’ve heard a lot about Scrivener. I’ve also heard about Trello and XMind. Googling “tools to help you outline your novel” can help you find more. Some are free and some you have to pay for.

Don’t get too caught up in creating an outline. Your outline is a guide to help you stay on your main path. An outline that’s too detailed might limit your creativity. Create an outline for your novel but stay flexible.

Are you a pantser or a planner? Do you know of any other plot structures to use for wring a novel? How do you outline your novel? I’d love to hear from you.

Steps to Writing and Self-Publishing a Novel

Posted by Dawn Ross on July 7, 2020
Posted in: Marketing, Publishing, Writing. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

How many steps are there from writing a novel to self-publishing it? I’m sure the answer varies depending on your skill, writing process, and resources. For me, there are fifteen steps from the initial planning of the novel to publishing and marketing it. Some are easy, some are hard, and some cost money.

Step One: Outline the Novel

You can either outline your novel or wing it. Some people (called panters) enjoy the freedom of winging it. It can lead to some interesting surprises. I prefer outlining my novel. I generally already have a good idea of what I want to happen in my story and outlining helps me keep the story on track. You can make your outline as generic or as detailed as you want.

Step Two: Write the Novel

You can either try to perfect your novel in the first draft or write a rough draft and reach the goal of writing an entire novel. I write my entire novel during NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which is in November. Since my story is written quickly, it is an extremely rough draft that probably shouldn’t be submitted to anyone for reading.

Step Three: Review/Rewrite the Novel

Whether you tried to perfect your novel in the first draft or wrote an extremely rough draft, you will want to give your novel a read-through and fix any issues you find before you submit it to people for reading.

Step Four: Get Feedback on the Novel

Find beta-readers or other writers who are willing to give you feedback on your novel. This is not always easy. You could end up with people who tend to always give good feedback for fear of hurting your feelings. You could get someone more focused on grammar or punctuation errors (which is okay but not needed yet). Or you could end up with people who give feedback that does not really apply to your style or preferences. If you’re lucky, though, you can get some insightful information that will help make your story better. I am currently in this step for The Dragon Emperor: Book Two of the Dragon Spawn Chronicles.

Step Five: Rewrite Again

The feedback you get in the previous step could point out issues you never thought of. Some of those issues could be small while others could be huge. Either way, it is likely you will need to do some rewriting.

Step Six: Hire a Development/Content Editor

I know this step can be pricy, but I would not recommend skipping it. You don’t know what you don’t know. A development editor can help you learn. Would you rather have a professional point out some serious story problems, or have readers so put off by your errors that they leave you negative reviews? You owe it to yourself and to your readers to have your work looked at by a professional. A development/content editor can help you find plot holes, make sure your writing style is consistent, point out places where the writing could be improved or clarified, and more. Take the time to find a development editor who knows your genre and whose editing methods you admire.

Step Seven: Rewrite Again

The newer you are at writing, the more a development editor is likely to find. But even experienced writers will have things they need to fix. We writers tend to be so close to our story that we forget to put some of the things in our head into the story.

Step Eight: Hire a Copy Editor

A copy editor will look for spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. Don’t hire this type of editor until you’re sure your story is as close to perfect as you can make it.

Step Nine: Polish the Novel

Fix the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors of your story.

Step Ten: Market

There are several ways to market your book. There are too many to be covered in this post, so look for a follow-up post later. If you’re new to writing, you may want to start your marketing by building a social media following before you write. Twitter, for example, is a great place to find both aspiring and successful writers who are happy to support a new writer.

Step Eleven: Get a Book Cover

You can design your own or hire someone to do your book cover. If you design your own, make sure you do not take images from the internet without permission. Create your own images from scratch, look for images that are public domain, or buy images at a reasonable price from sites like 123rf.com or bigstock.com. If you hire someone, do your research and make sure the artist is not backlogged and knows how to format their work for self-publishing. Fiverr.com can be a good place to find someone.

Step Twelve: Format the Novel

You probably wrote your novel in Word, Google Docs, Scrivner, or other places. But just because you used these platforms doesn’t mean your document is ready to be uploaded to a self-publishing platform. You may need to format chapter headings, font types, spacing, indents, paragraphing, and even page numbers. Follow the instructions of the publishing platform carefully and be sure to do a review before you hit that publish button.

Step Thirteen: Self-Publish the Novel

Publish immediately or do a pre-publishing campaign.

Step Fourteen: Announce Your Novel to the World

Use all your social media and marketing platforms to announce your new novel.

Step Fifteen: Continue to Market

This is an ongoing process. Keep up with your social media sites and continue to market.

Conclusion

Does your head hurt from all this information? You thought writing would be easy, right? These steps can be daunting, but take it one at a time and you’ll do great!

Did I forget anything? If so, please feel free to comment below. And feel free to share your experience with any of these steps.

Book Review of Dakiti by E.J. Fisch

Posted by Dawn Ross on June 3, 2020
Posted in: Reviews. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

Dakiti (Ziva Payvan, #1)Dakiti by EJ Fisch
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Dakiti by E.J. Fisch is an action-packed science-fiction space-opera that will keep you on the edge. It has everything a good novel should have: an intense plot, deep characters, vivid setting, and conflict—OMG lots of conflict. Not just character conflict either. It’s a great mix of both character and action conflict.

The two primary characters are Lieutenant Ziva Payvan and Lieutenant Aroska Tarbic of the special police in Haphez. To say these two don’t like one another is a vast understatement, especially for Tarbic. He hates Payvan enough to want to kill her. When he’s forced to work as a part of her team, he seriously considers leaving his prodigious career. Lucky for us, he doesn’t. It’s just one simple mission, after all, right?

But then the mission goes wrong and the two must work together or fail. As the situation gets more complicated and deadly, they find themselves depending on one another to survive.

I’m an action-junkie, but the characters and characterizations were my favorite part about the whole novel. The first time we see Ziva is through Tarbic’s eyes. And because his perspective is skewed, we believe she is someone we shouldn’t like. However, as the story progresses, her character deepens. There is more to her than meets the eye.

Every time I turn a page, there is deeper conflict. Not just between Ziva and Tarbic, either. There, of course, is the antagonist and the people he has working for him. Bothum is not a nice person. He will use anyone in any way to get what he wants. And what he wants has to do with Dakiti. Just what or who is Dakiti? You will have to read to find out.

There is one thing about this novel that I did not care for. Though the action and conflict moved me forward, some of the character choices were unconvincing. For one, Tarbic is part of a special police force, yet he shares information with his girlfriend. Granted, she works for the same police force as him, yet she is not a part of his team. This seems like a big no-no that he should technically get fired for when this is all over.

The second unconvincing action was made by Tarbic, Ziva, and the rest of the team. After being told by the director not to go in for a rescue, they all risk their lives and their careers to do it anyway. I get that supposedly one of their own has taken, but I still don’t buy their motivation. Special ops do not go against the orders of their superiors. And, if by chance they do, they do not get to keep their careers afterward. They go to jail. Period.

These are just two of the irrational actions taken by the characters in this story. However, I could swallow them enough that I was still entertained and engrossed in the story. And I enjoyed the story well enough to buy the sequel.

E.J. Fisch’s writing style makes getting into the story easy. She is wonderful at spinning a tale and keeping the reader engaged. So, if you enjoy deep characters and tons of action, then Dakiti is the perfect read.

View all my reviews

Book Review of Jabin Kainos by Vince Mancuso

Posted by Dawn Ross on April 13, 2020
Posted in: Reviews. Tagged: , , , . Leave a comment

Jabin Kainos and the Manifest ChroniclesJabin Kainos and the Manifest Chronicles by Vince Mancuso
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Who doesn’t love a superhero origin story? Jabin Kainos by Vince Mancuso is a unique origin story in that the main character, Jabin Kainos, is made into a super-hero on purpose with Jabin’s consent… and it all happens at a school-slash-medical experimentation facility.

Jabin was raised in an orphanage after a modern-day civil war killed his parents. He’s a loner with no plans for his future until he’s approached by his case worker with an unusual brochure. Next thing you know, he’s packing his bags and off on a new adventure.

The adventure begins slowly, but in a captivating way. I was first impressed with the setting of the school facility. Then I got engaged with the diverse set characters as they discover what the school is all about through training and exploration. About halfway in, Jabin and his friends undergo a procedure that is supposed to help them manifest superpowers. At first, there is a question as to what Jabin’s superpower is. In truth, it seems rather lame. But about three-fourths of the way in, I discover there is so much more to what Jabin can do. This last quarter is where the antagonists arrive and all hell breaks loose. And it’s also when the history of what happened to the previous manifests is revealed.

The story ends with some mysteries left unsolved and antagonists defeated yet still at large. But this is okay since the end hints at more to come. I can’t wait for the author to finish the next novel!

There’s very little tension in the first three-fourths of the book, yet the story was compelling enough to keep me engaged. Jabin’s daily life is anything but normal. Even his game of dodge ball is beyond ordinary.

The characters are well-developed as well as unique. While Jabin is a go-with-the-flow kind of guy who seems to react to most things with a shrug, the others are rich enough in their different characteristics to add some spice. Director Slate is my favorite, followed by Killian the dog boy.

There are scenes I didn’t quite follow, but I’m not sure if this was my fault or the writers’. Actions scenes are hard to write. Too much description and the story will lag. Too little and not even the imagination of the reader can fill in the blanks. The scenes in this novel fell somewhere between and I was able to grasp the gist of the events.

There were a few more typos than what I would have seen in a book that had gone through a publisher. But who am I to judge since my novel is also self-published? Honestly, since this new era of self-publishing offers a wider variety of interesting stories (like this one), a few typos here and there is a price I’m willing to pay.

The setting, characters, and character interactions are what make this story worth reading. There are also the many little mysteries that will keep you turning the pages. Jabin Kainos is truly a super novel.

View all my reviews

Three Important Aspects to Writing Dialogue

Posted by Dawn Ross on April 9, 2020
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: , , . Leave a comment

I was not always good at writing dialogue. I was okay at the dialogue itself, but not so good at certain technical parts. I was recently reminded of the following three important aspects of dialogue by other writer blogs.

Listen to Real People Speak

You know cheesy dialogue when you hear it in a movie, right? You’ve probably even read some cheesy dialogue. Or maybe you’ve read a conversation that sounded forced or unnatural. It’s probably because the written dialogue doesn’t reflect how real people speak.

The Write Practice blog has a great article providing 16 insights to realistic dialogue.

Character Thoughts

When I first started writing, I wasn’t sure how to portray character thoughts. Putting them in quotation marks didn’t seem right because it made it seem the character was saying the thoughts out loud. After much struggle and research, I finally figured it out. The most important point you need to take away from this is internal thoughts are not dialogue, so don’t use quotation marks around them.

So how do you portray your character’s thoughts? I italicize them. And because I’m using deep PoV as my storytelling style, I don’t need to add he or she thought afterward. Jami Gold’s blog has a good example as well as other good tips for writing internal thoughts.

Creative Dialogue Tags

A dialogue tag is the phrase before, after, or in the middle of your dialogue. The best example is the tag said. When I first began writing, I used a lot of creative dialogue tags. I thought these tags made me clever. Later, I learned they were often redundant and it was better to use simple dialogue tags or action beats instead. For example, instead of:

“First, you put the bread in the toaster. Then you wait about a minute or so until the toast pops up,” he droned.

Use

“First, you put the bread in the toaster. Then you wait about a minute or so until the toast pops up,” he said.

Your dialogue should speak for itself. You shouldn’t have to use creative tags like droned, bellowed, pleaded, grumbled, growled, whined, etc. Said is an almost invisible dialogue tag to the reader. They glance at it and know who’s speaking without being taken out of the story by a quirky or redundant dialogue tag.

You don’t want to use said as your dialogue tag all the time, though. You can use action beats instead. For example, instead of:

“Leave her alone!” Mack bellowed.

Use

Mack shoved his way between them. “Leave her alone!”

Using the tag bellowed is redundant because we can already tell by the exclamation point that he is yelling. We can tell who’s speaking because of the action beat of Mack shoving his way in. This way, the reader doesn’t just hear his words, they see his actions.

There is more information about dialogue tags on Jami Gold’s blog (an excellent blog every writer should follow).

 

There is a lot to think about when writing dialogue. These three aspects are just the three I was reminded of most recently. What are your thoughts on them? Do you have any other tips on writing dialogue?

Need Writing Advice on The Dragon Emperor Chapter 1

Posted by Dawn Ross on April 5, 2020
Posted in: Sci-Fi Part 2, The Dragon Spawn Chronicles. Tagged: , , , , . 5 Comments

Do you want to hear more about the coronavirus? Me neither. I will tell you, however, that my family and I are weathering it well. Despite the new responsibility of homeschooling my son, I am writing every day. My sci-fi novel, The Dragon Emperor, Book 2 of the Dragon Spawn Chronicles, is coming along nicely. But I need some writing advice for chapter 1. I’ve been getting help from beta readers and the one reoccurring comment has been that they can’t get into the main character. Will you read it and provide feedback on why you think my character is weak or how you think I might be able to make this chapter better? I’d really appreciate it.

 

Chapter 1:  Attack of the Dragon

3791:023:12:35. Year 3791, day 23, 12:35 hours, Prontaean time as per the last sync.

The Dragon and Basilisk warships crept toward the planet like mamushi snakes. Thendi began as an insignificant spot of light against the vastness of space, but the planet slowly swelled beyond the edges of the Dragon bridge’s large viewscreen.

The half shadow on the planet’s right side, indicated they arrived on schedule. Jori swelled with pride. His navigational calculations were perfect. The enemy had no idea what was coming.

He glanced at his father, hoping for some hint of approval. There was none. Apparently, coming up with the perfect trajectory that avoided enemy detection still wasn’t enough to make up for his recent failings.

Jori peered over the data on his station. He was only ten-cycles old, so his only job was to observe. But the only thing worth looking at right now was the looming planet.

Thendi was much like any other habitable planet. It had deep blue oceans, large blocks of land, and icy patches that nestled the poles like warhead caps. Most of Thendi’s terrain was conglomerated into what could be confused as one large landmass. And it was a reddish-brown color that made the wisps of hovering clouds look like coolant on rusted metal.

Though there was a serenity to the planet’s outward appearance, turmoil churned just beneath its surface. Its people lived lives nearly as violent as Jori’s own people, but for a different reason.

Jori tapped the viewer at his station and zoomed in. The planet’s surface was scared from the violent clashes of grinding plates. Gashes of red marred the land where the plates slid apart, making the planet appear as though it had been ruthlessly stabbed.

The Thendians were developing a powerful wave-emitting device that could temper the movement of the plates. This same device could be altered to cause planetary-wide destruction—and Jori’s father wanted it.

His father, Emperor Mizuki, sat coolly in the throne-like chair at the center of the bridge. His broad shoulders eased into the chairback and his powerful hands lay casually on the arm rests. He was far from relaxed, though. Jori didn’t need to use his ability to sense emotions to know his father was giddy with anticipation. He saw it on his face—the flared nostrils of his hawk-like nose, the firmness of his angular jaw, and the glittering of his dark eyes.

Jori sensed the same anxiousness in his older brother Terkeshi, though it was mixed with determination as he manned the tactical station. At age fourteen, Terk was already nearly as tall as their father. He didn’t yet have a man’s bulk, but he was strong. His black uniform matched his dark hair, both of which would’ve looked grey if compared to the darkness of his eyes.

Terk caught Jori looking at him. His lips curled up slightly. Jori smiled widely in return. It felt good to have his big brother talking to him again. If only his father would forgive him too.

The Dragon crawled into position. Jori resisted the urge to fidget. His exhilaration for battle mingled with misgiving.

He wasn’t afraid. Not of battle, anyway. He loved the challenges of his martial practices, strategic analyses, and space combat simulations. When the opportunity to help plan this attack on Thendi came, his head whirled with the excitement of analyzing all the variables. Now that the moment was upon him, though, he wasn’t so sure.

Jori clenched his jaw. It was stupid to feel this way. His father and brother were right. This foolish sentiment of his made him weak. He was a senji/warrior. And not just any senji, a Dragon Senji bred and trained to be the best. He forced his emotions aside and focused on his sense of duty and the hyped emotions of the other senji.

“Passive sensors pick up three Prontaean ships, my Lord,” Shosa/Major Niashi at the operations station said.

Jori’s father sat erect. “Still no indication that they’ve detected us?”

“No, My Lord.”

Jori held his head a little higher. His calculations not only got them close, but his predictions about where the enemy would—or wouldn’t—be scanning seemed to be holding. While the Prontaean ships could only focus on a small portion of the vastness of space, the bridge crew of the Dragon knew exactly where to look.

“Zoom in and identify,” his father said.

The viewscreen’s image lurched forward and focused on a large bulky ship. Its gravity wheel and the arc-reactor dominated the ship’s overall shape. The propulsion units jutted out the rear while an array of weapons pimpled or indented its main body.

“A Tutamen-class battleship,” Shosa Niashi said.

Jori marveled. The Tutamen-class was the largest and most heavily armed of the Prontaean Galactic Force battleships. It housed top technologies from across the known galaxy, with the greatest being its vast array of energy cannons and projectile weapons. It also harbored two squadrons of Pterodon jets, which were faster and more maneuverable than any others because their virtual interfaces kept them from being hindered by the g-force limitations of human occupants.

As impressive as this PG-Force battleship was, it was only a little more powerful than the Dragon warship. What armament and tech the Dragon lacked, though, was compensated for by the tactical brilliance of his father.

The next ship flicked onto the viewscreen. This one was much smaller, but still amply armed.

“Fortis-class destroyer,” Shosa Niashi said. “The Tutamen is called Defender and the Fortis is Perses.”

“And the third ship?” Jori’s father said.

Shosa Niashi tapped his console. The viewscreen lurched again.

Jori’s heart skipped a beat. It can’t be.

It was an Expedition-class vessel from the Prontaean Colonial Cooperative. Though this PCC ship was nearly as large as the Defender, it wasn’t as bulky and had only a few basic defense weapons.

Shosa Niashi made a derisive noise. “A civilian ship.”

Jori clutched the armrest of his chair. “What’s it called?”

“Odyssey,” the shosa replied.

Chikusho/Shit! Of all the enemy ships out there, why did it have to be Captain Arden and Commander Hapker’s ship?

“This had better not be a problem, boy,” His father said with a glower.

“No, of course not,” Jori replied automatically. He masked his unease with what he hoped was a determined expression.

He tried to quell his emotions so his brother wouldn’t sense his hesitation, but it was too late. Terk’s temper darkened. He glowered at Jori and shook his head in warning.

Jori swallowed hard. Emotion is weakness. Just because the Odyssey had once saved his and Terk’s life didn’t mean he owed them anything. He had already made the mistake of letting them escape when Terk wanted to destroy them.

Jori’s people, the Toradon Nohibito, and the races of the Prontaean Cooperative were all human, but the Toradons were far superior—at least that is what he’d been taught. He wanted to believe it, but doubt crept in with the thought of Commander Hapker.

Jori clenched his fists and summoned his resolve. He wasn’t going to let his sentiment interfere again. He was a senji and senji didn’t back down against their enemies.

Jori’s father stepped up to the viewscreen and clasped his hands behind his back. “Tell the Basilisk to get ready.”

Jori tapped into tac-view mode while everyone else prepped for battle.

 

Please comment below with any feedback you have on chapter 1.

Book Review of Star Trek: Picard: The Last Best Hope

Posted by Dawn Ross on March 28, 2020
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The Last Best Hope (Star Trek: Picard)The Last Best Hope by Una McCormack
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The novel Star Trek: Picard: The Last Best Hope, by Una McCormack, is a suitable contribution to the Star Trek universe. If you’ve watched Star Trek: Picard on CBS, this novel provides more details on why Picard resigned from Star Fleet. While some aspects of the narrative are found wanting, the story itself is an interesting and comprehensive exploration.

Overview

The story begins with news that the Romulan star is about to go supernova. Picard insists the Federation pull out all the stops to mount a rescue mission. His passion gets him put in charge of the operation. He has his misgivings about leaving the Enterprise and leading such a daunting venture, but he luckily finds just the right mix of people to help him.

However, not everyone is keen on the idea of saving their enemies. Resistance comes from politicians, scientists, and even from the Romulans themselves. Star Fleet is behind Picard in the beginning, but political pressure led by politician Olivia Quest strains their efforts. Then the unimaginable destruction of Mars occurs.

The end of the novel answers some questions but leaves many more unanswered. Neither the novel nor the first season of Picard explain why the Romulan star unnaturally went supernova or why the synths killed everyone on Mars. Perhaps there is or will be a book that explains it. Though I am a fan of Star Trek, I am not caught up on all the Star Trek novels, nor privy to any insider information.

Critique

Star Trek: Picard: The Last Best Hope explores the difficulty of trying to satisfy morally conflicting interests. The author presents all sides very well. We don’t just see Picard’s high-minded ideals, we see the perspectives of the scientists who must give up their life’s work to focus on building transport ships. We also see the perspective of the Federation leaders and a politician named Olivia Quest.

Olivia Quest is the most antagonistic of all Picard’s complications. I didn’t like this woman, but not just because I wasn’t supposed to. She is written like a stereotypical narrow-minded politician. However, her arguments for not wanting to divert all Federation resources to support the Romulan evacuation are valid. I can’t say whether I agree with them, but I understand her viewpoint.

There is no growth of characters in this novel. Picard never sees Quest’s point of view or the points made by the Federation. Quest gets her way and falls deeper into her own self-importance. In my opinion, though, Raffi’s decline is the worst. If you like stories with happy endings, you won’t get it here. Picard is a tragedy. Despite the subtitle, this story gives us no hope.

On the plus side, the characters we know and love are as real in this novel as they are on TV. Some new characters introduced on the recent CBS series are also true to form. Raffi Musiker is by far the best one and her tragedy the most keenly felt.

Most of the time, the conversations in this novel are smooth and realistic. But a few irked me. One short conversation between Raffi and Picard felt awkward because they keep saying one another’s name. Raffi says JL’s name four times and Picard says Raffi’’s name two times. I don’t know about you, but when I’m talking to someone, I don’t keep saying their name. How did the editors miss this?

There is also a conversation between Picard and Koli that feels contrived. While I understand Koli’s argument with Picard, I feel her reaction is a bit melodramatic, especially considering how well she mitigated prior difficult situations. I get that as a Bajoran, she is traumatized by the similar brutality of the Cardassians. Yet I still can’t swallow it. Perhaps the author didn’t give us the opportunity to get to know Koli the way we got to know Raffi and other characters.

I also think Picard’s resignation is a forced scene. His decision is too rash, a characteristic very unlike him. For a man who is usually good at seeing all sides, he is completely unsympathetic to Star Fleet’s need to pull out. I understand why his feelings are so strong, but surely he could have seen the big picture without necessarily agreeing with it. A more believable approach would have been for him to take a moment and brood before turning in his resignation.

What is the point of Nokim Vritet’s character? His entire perspective can be deleted and the story will still make sense. One could argue, I suppose, that his story shows the reader the depths the Tal Shiar would go to keep the truth from their people. But this could have been conveyed in another way. Or, like other things in the novel, it could have been assumed that Trekkies already knew.

I also found Picard’s friendship with Zani to be artificial. We see a minor scene or two that shows him connecting to her. From there we’re expected to believe Picard has this growing deep respect for her friendship.

Conclusion

Star Trek: Picard is a sad tale. Picard’s downfall is disheartening. Truth be told, the entire message of the novel is depressing. While Star Trek: The Next Generation gave us hope for mankind, Star Trek: Picard makes us cynical. But this novel is still worth reading. Picard is ever the indomitable Picard, the character-driven story is wonderfully complex without being convoluted, and the Star Trek universe is always a universe worth exploring. If you’re watching Picard on CBS, you will want to read Picard the novel.

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Book Review of The Tangled Lands, Written by Paolo Bacigalupi and Tobias S. Buckell

Posted by Dawn Ross on March 21, 2020
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The Tangled LandsThe Tangled Lands by Paolo Bacigalupi
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The Tangled Lands by Paolo Bacigalupi and Tobias S. Buckell is a fantasy novel set in a world on the cusp of being destroyed by human greed and selfishness. A deadly plant called bramble thrives on the use of magic. It invades homes, lands, and engulfs entire countries. And it tangles together four separate stories where four different ordinary people fight to make the best of their dying world.

Synopsis

The journey and struggle of each character in each story is unique. The first story titled “The Alchemist” by Paolo Bacigalupi is about a craftsman turned alchemist who is determined to find a way to permanently destroy bramble so that he can be free to use magic to save his daughter’s life. After much sacrifice, he finally invents a device that has the power to save both his daughter and the entire world. But when he brings his invention to the city’s Jolly Mayor and the infamous Majister Scacz, they turn the invention into something more sinister.

The second story titled “The Executioness” by Tobias S. Buckell is about the daughter of an executioner. When her dying father is called upon to perform an execution for the Jolly Mayor, she has no choice but to take his place. She returns home from this gruesome task to find Paikan raiders have murdered her husband and father and kidnapped her sons. When she boldly fights a few of the raiders she encounters, she earns the nickname of Executioness. Her growing reputation and determination to save her sons takes her through many adventures and into new lands.

The third story titled “The Children of Khaim” by Paolo Bacigalupi is about Mop and his sister Rain. They are refugees from a city overwhelmed by bramble. They must eke out a living by collecting bramble so the seeds won’t take root in the city. In the process of their work, Rain is pierced by the bramble and put in a deep sleep. Nothing is known to bring people from this bramble sleep, but Mop is determined to try. Somehow, he must keep her alive and protect her from soft-eyed men until she wakes—even if it means using illegal magic to do it.

In the fourth story titled “The Blacksmith’s Daughter” by Tobias S. Buckell, Sofija and her family must create a suit of armor masterpiece for the Duke of Malabaz’s son. But the Duke is an amoral despot. Not only does he commission Sofija’s family to craft the armor in a way that masks the illegal use of magic, he refuses to pay them their proper dues. He has Sofija’s parents imprisoned in bramble and she is left to complete the armor herself knowing he will kill her and her parents anyway in the end.

Critique

The tangled bramble world is a complex and unique world. Yet it reminds me of our own world. In The Tangled Lands, people can’t help but to use magic even though they know it causes bramble to encroach on the livelihoods of others. In our world, we can’t help but to exhaust resources and pollute the air in a way that will ultimately destroy us. The people in Tangled Lands justify their use of magic for seemingly honorable reasons in the same way our factories justify their poisonous emissions and decimation of the land by claiming they are making our lives better.

But there is hope in each of the four stories of The Tangled Lands. While avarice and selfishness rule the world, there are still good people who stand up and fight to do what is right.

Pitting desperation against powerful egocentric rulers means the fight is bloody. The tone of this novel is dark. Abuse and murder abound. Some scenes are quite graphic and horrifying. This is not a novel for the young or faint of heart.

Reading each story is like falling into a different person. Every protagonist character is a well-rounded believable human character that you will root for despite their shortcomings. Though they start out as ordinary, their extraordinary circumstances transform them into someone new. But whether they become heroes is up to you to decide.

I like stories where the good guys win and the bad guys lose. Though all four protagonists come through their struggles, not all of them are changed for the better. And not all the bad guys get their dues.

Still, it is a novel full of action and conflict that will keep you turning the pages. It will invoke strong emotions and either leave you with a feeling of hope or hopelessness, depending on whether you are a glass-half-full or half-empty kind of person.

I can’t find a single literary fault with the The Tangled Lands novel. Everything about it was marvelous. The setting was unique and fantastic. The characters were lovable and credible. And the storytelling was perfectly executed. I wholly recommend this novel to any adult reader who wants to get tangled in another world.

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