2 comments on “The Kavakian Empire – Part One Chapter 6

  1. There are a couple of things with this chapter. I think Bracht’s concern over Jori gleaning classified information is a valid one, even if the Captain felt that there was nothing in the open that the boy wouldn’t already have access to or deduce on his own. Were I him, I would have selected a more experienced officer to show Jori around the bridge, someone who would have the sense to understand that even though Jori is only a boy and should be treated like a guest, he is still technically an enemy.

    Also, I can’t remember, but is Stein the chief information officer? It bothered me that she tossed out information that she confessed to knowing only as rumors. Maybe when the Cap asks what she knows she can confess that it’s not a lot of solid information, go do some digging and come back to him in a chapter or two with more? Could be a way to build suspense and suspicion too.

    • My point with Bracht was that he was overreacting. But perhaps I should make that more obvious. Your point about Stein makes complete sense. I need to increase her input in this entire first part. You’re right, it can help build some suspense and suspicion.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s