4 comments on “The Kavakian Empire – Part One Chapter 14

  1. So I’m feeling some emotional whiplash here, which could probably be eased a little with more content between the end of the previous chapter and this one. I just don’t know how to feel about Jori, which I think is a real problem. He’s the character I want to relate to/follow the most. And normally I’d say depth of character that gives sometimes contradictory glances is a good thing. But I feel more confused about him than anything else. I don’t know how I should be viewing him.

    • I agree that Jori’s turnaround was too quick. If he is going to have a turnaround, it should be more gradual so that it isn’t contradictory. Let me ask you, though, does your confusion with his character seem off or is the confusion a good thing? I don’t want to reveal too much about Jori’s character too quickly because I want there to be some mystery. But at the same time, I don’t want the character’s contradiction to be out of place.

      • Honestly, I feel the confusion is off, which could probably be address with some of the things we’ve already talked about. I get the feel that you want Jori to be a little bit of a mystery, but the information about him is presented in such a way that makes me just want it outright instead of having to piece it together as I go. If that makes sense.

      • I think I get what you’re saying. Check out my reply to your comment in chapter 16. Do you think I’m on the right track with recognizing what’s wrong?

        Thank you so much for your input. I know the story inside and out in my head so I can’t always tell when my writing doesn’t convey what I want it to convey. Having other people point things out really helps. I’m keeping track of all the feedback for editing later.

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