3 comments on “The Kavakian Empire Part One Chapter 3 – Revised

  1. I don’t have any real critiques for this chapter, I was too busy reading! 😀 I loved the addition of an accent for Stein, and I enjoyed following along with the thought process on what to do with Jori. I would have liked just a tad bit more about J.D.’s martial skills – obviously not everyone has them, otherwise they wouldn’t have been something mentioned to qualify J.D. to keep an eye on Jori. Where’d he get the skills? Special training, experience, etc?

    • Great questions! To be answered in the future. My understanding is that too much at one time might be overwhelming and a character with no questions to ask about him makes the reader lose interest. Did your questions make you curious or just make you feel like there was something missing?

      • That’s a fair point. I guess I should have clarified, because the single mention of J.D.’s martial skills made me curious to know more. So it could be something interesting to insert more about at a later point.

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