2 comments on “The Kavakian Empire Part One Chapter 6 – Revised

  1. I actually really enjoyed this chapter, so I only have two observations. The first is that I thought that the two captains were sitting in the same room together rather than communicating remotely, so perhaps just a line to indicate that there’s a screen and some space between them? And the line towards the end about Bract being unbending in his opinions – that might want to be removed because it will be shown over the next couple of chapters in his demeanor and dialogue. But otherwise, I loved the dialogue, scene and the thought processes. 😀

    • I will certainly clarify about the two captains. And I don’t remember the line you mentioned about Bracht, but I’ll certainly look into it. Thanks again! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s